Saturday, January 19, 2008

Off the Wagon, onto the Apple Cart

I've received many emails calling me irrational for actually planning to purchase Apple's MacBook Air. I'll rebut their criticisms point by point:

  1. "I think I've seen you carry around a Lenovo Thinkpad X60s? What's wrong with it?"

    I do have one, but I think I'm getting tired of wearing all black. The shiny aluminum MacBook Air will be a good complement to my Goth outfits.

  2. "You keep calling the MacBook Air a 'subnotebook.' I do not think it means what you think it means. Doesn't the MacBook Air take up the same footprint as a normal MacBook and isn't the Thinkpad smaller in both length and width?"

    Yes, but the MacBook Air is thinner, and if supermodels have taught us anything, it's that thin is all that matters. After all, you don't see Victoria's Secret parading midgets on the runway. Oh yeah, the MacBook Air fits in a manila envelope. A freaking manila envelope!

  3. "Aren't 2.5 inch 5400 RPM and 7200 RPM drives in most notebooks significantly faster than the 1.8 inch drive on the MacBook Air?"

    Yes, but I don't actually plan on loading any programs or even booting the machine.

  4. "Isn't it useful to be able to swap batteries when you're on the go?"

    See previous answer.

  5. "I'm pretty sure you've mentioned that you use your notebook's EVDO connection. What will you do when you can't get an open wifi signal?"

    Did you not read my post? There are open wifi hotspots EVERYWHERE. If you can find one place (excluding Renaissance Center) that doesn't have a good wifi signal, I'll stop wearing black. Go ahead, I dare you. I double dare you!

  6. "Why use MacOS X and go through loops to access all your Microsoft services when you can just use Windows?"

    Did I mention that I love shiny things? A Windows app simply cannot compare to a MacOS X app when it comes to rounded corners, crystal buttons, brushed aluminum windows, and cool genie effects. We all know how much important those features are when reading emails.

  7. "Aren't you just buying the MacBook Air to be cool?"

    Of course I am. I mean that's why I do all the other crazy things I do. Putting an RFID tag in my arm, revealing my entire health record to the world, posing on top of a mountain while checking my Blackberry (soon to be replaced by the MacBook Air), practicing a vegan lifestyle -- you don't actually think I do all those things to make a point do you? In fact, I can't imagine why any sane person would do any of those things except to satisfy his enormous ego.

Case closed - the MacBook Air is the JesusBookTM. If you have any other reasons why you think I should not get a MacBook Air, speak now or forever your peace.

PS - I can only imagine how cool it will be when I meet Secretary Leavitt at the next HITSP conference.

me: Hey Mike, check this out! (Pulls MacBook Air out of a manila envelope)
Secretary Leavitt: (Craps pants)

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